Today’s post is inspired by the movie currently in theaters, but this isn’t a movie review. If you haven’t seen it, go. I’m sure you could use the laugh. It won’t change your life but I am willing to bet you will be entertained. And if you are planning your wedding right now, it might help keep things in perspective for you.
I’d really like to focus on one of the central plot points of the movie: old friends versus new friends. Odds are you have a mix of both in your bridal party. Actually you might have one of each of the stereotypes:
The Old Friend: You’ve known each other longer than you haven’t. She’s been there for you more times than you care to count and you can’t imagine life without her. She is your absolute very best friend and is most likely your Maid (or Matron) of Honor.
The New Best Friend: You may not have known each other very long, but something about her just clicked. There’s actually a song from the original Muppet movie that Gonzo sings with a line that sums her up perfectly, “there’s not a word yet, for old friends who’ve just met”.
The Newlywed: She just got married and she has all kinds of advice for you on how to do things for your wedding. Everything will be perfect if your wedding is just. like. hers.
The Bitter Matron: She’s been married for years, she’s worn down by her kids, husband and work. She has no time to herself (or for herself) and cautions you against going through with your plans. She may not be divorced, but it seems a distinct possibility.
The Obligatory Bridesmaid: She’s his sister/cousin/best friend and rather than having the parties be mixed she’s standing on your side. You may or may not like her.
And the best part? None of them know each other! It’s easy for feelings to get hurt so be aware of which bridesmaid is which and take their feelings into account. Is your New Best Friend hosting all the parties and showers because she is local? Don’t let your Old Friend feel left out – ask for her to be involved in the planning process whenever possible, even if she can’t be there. Take the Newlywed’s advice but put your own spin on it. Learn from the Bitter Matron. She complains about not having time for herself – make sure you always do. Schedule time for just you or date nights with the hubby. Yes it is easier to do before babies – but make sure you do it after babies too. The Obligatory Bridesmaid is in your circle now – get to know her!
If possible, introduce them to each other, preferably prior to your wedding day. Schedule a luncheon or outing of some kind before things get too crazy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all the important women in your life became great friends too?