In case you missed it, I am on my second marriage. I did not take my vows lightly the first time and I never envisioned myself as a divorcee. But things change, people grow (or don’t), and sometimes a parting is really the best thing.
I’m not telling you this to bring you down, rather to impart a little bit of advice I had to learn from experience. I hope you will take it to heart and that I may save you from some of the heartache I once felt.
Don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget that before you met HIM (or HER) that you were an exciting, vibrant, interesting person with thoughts, ideas, and interests all your own. That may sound simple but it really isn’t. You’ve found the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you want to spend every moment with him (or her) right now. But I am giving you permission to not have to do everything together.
Take time for yourself at least once a week. Go shopping for fun. Meet a friend for lunch or dinner. Go to a movie your love would hate. Keep your hobbies….just because the love of your life doesn’t love everything you do doesn’t mean you have to stop loving something.
And this goes both ways. Don’t be jealous when he wants to go out with the boys. Or when he plays video or computer games you have no interest in. Encourage his friendships and let him know that you love and support everything about him, not just your common interests.
I’m not suggesting you lead separate lives. I am only suggesting that you were individuals before you became a couple, and that individuality is likely what drew you together. So why lose that by becoming so completely engrossed in one another? Because I promise, one day you will wake up and suddenly remember the person you once were.
Better not to forget in the first place.