First and foremost it is your bridesmaids duty and honor to help keep you relaxed on your wedding day. They are there to help you have fun and ensure that you can cherish each and every moment. They will help calm your nerves and keep you rational. In short, everything they do for you on a daily basis!
Your bridesmaids will also plan your engagement party if you are having one, your bridal and wedding showers, and perhaps most fun – your bachelorette party! These events will typically be paid for by all in your bridal party to help distribute the costs. If you have a Maid or Matron of Honor, they will usually take point on the planning.
Of course your bridesmaids are also responsible for any wedding related expenses such as their dress and shoes – so think about all of their budgets before choosing that $400 dress or those Jimmy Choos! If you know your bridesmaids are on a tight budget, don’t require they have their hair and make-up done…but let them know if there will be pros on-site if they want to splurge. And be understanding if they tell you they can’t afford something.
I asked one of my very dear friends to be in my wedding. Though initially she said yes, she soon realized with her unemployment and an unexpected family crisis that wasn’t going to be ending anytime soon that she really couldn’t afford to be in the wedding. Though it saddened us (she was my husband’s friend first) we completely understood. This was nothing personal. She is still a dear friend to this day.
Your bridesmaids all love and care for you, and in most cases will do anything you ask of them for your wedding (including wearing a dress they will never wear again). Please don’t take advantage of that by asking one (or all) of them to be your de facto coordinator. They should be with you getting ready instead of setting up chairs and hanging lights. They should be laughing with you instead of wondering where that DJ is. They should be toasting your new marriage instead of slicing cake for 150 of your guests.
Hire a professional Day of Coordinator – think of it as a gift for your bridesmaids (and mom and mother-in-law and Aunt Betty and…) as well as peace of mind for you.