By now you have some ideas on how to personalize your welcome and thoughts on marriage…now for the most intimidating part – the vows!
But don’t be intimidated! Personalizing your vows can be really easy with just a little bit of help. One way that has become really popular with my couples is a kind of question and answer sort of vows. We’ll start with the usual “Do you promise to love for all the rest of your days?” and that sort of thing – usually 2 or 3 traditional promises. Then I suddenly ask “Do you promise to play Call of Duty for no more than 2 hours a day?” or anything that is appropriate to you as a couple. These are usually humorous in nature but can be more serious or sweet depending on what works best for you. You can still follow-up with a more traditional repeat after me vows later.
You could also work in a line or two with the traditional repeat after me vows if the question and answer type isn’t really your thing. A recent bride surprised her groom by having him promise to limit his World of Warcraft to 2 hours a day – and she promised to limit her shopping! It was especially fun as the groom had no idea he was going to be making that promise!
If you are very brave and want to write your own vows, go for it! Speak from your heart – your vows could be in the form of a letter and include why you are looking forward to your life together or what you love about each other. Make a list of promises to each other. Keep it fairly simple – almost everyone becomes overwhelmed when reading their vows. And please don’t try to memorize them!
There are also professionals available to assist you with the writing of your vows for a nominal fee. They will ask you questions and help you articulate exactly what you mean. I used a professional to help with my vows – she helped me to organize my thoughts when I just couldn’t make sense of them (it is so much harder when writing your own). I also wrote a portion of my vows using ’80s love song lyrics. Yes, it was a little cheesy but it fit us perfectly.
Your vows should be a reflection of you.